The Inward Journey

By Douglas B. Clark

“He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. “ “ When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” Luke 15:16-24

Like the prodigal son, we desire to receive our inheritance NOW so that we may indulge “self” with the spiritual gifts that come from God. Our squandering and misuse of our inheritance leads to spiritual famine. This brings great dissatisfaction that reduces us to brokenness. Here we learn to be content eating from the servant’s table. From this place of servitude our heavenly Father will call us unto Himself and prepare a feast — imparting His life unto us.

Over the holidays I was in Florida on vacation. My wife, Diana and I were on our way to Sanibel Island after visiting a new friend in Sebring. While we drove down the road my thoughts wandered to another friend who had moved to Florida seven or eight years ago. I had not spoke with Ray in over three years and had no idea how to reach him. I wondered what part of Florida he lived in and whether it was close enough to where we were at for us to go see him.

A few minutes later I found myself wanting to call home and check our messages even though Diana had already checked an hour ago. The automated voice said I had one message. The first words of the message were, “Hi, This is a blast from the past. This is Ray.” How cool is that? I was just thinking about how I could contact him and there he was after more than three years! He had left the message not more than fifteen minutes before I checked the voice mail. I immediately called him and told him we were at Sanibel Island. He responded by telling me that he lived five miles from Sanibel.

The Lord touched Ray in the late 1980’s. God cleaned him up and gave him a new perspective on life. After a while the “new perspective” took on a life of its own as Ray became involved in running, biking and extreme physical fitness. He quit his job at the factory and started working at a high end, athletic shoe store. Next he opened his own sporting goods store. His success at bettering himself led to the failure of his marriage. He then found himself attracted to a beautiful young lady who dropped him after a brief time. Soon after he was in a new relationship and the two of them moved to Florida where he became involved in a prosperous business that relied on the new housing market. Life was good except for the turbulence of the new romance. It was a hot and cold relationship for eight years until she finally left him two years ago.

About the same time that she left him the housing market took a dive and it hurt his business. As a result he had to let employees go and he lost his house. Then last July as he was going for a Sunday morning bike ride when a sheriff’s deputy made a u-turn that crossed over into the bike trail and hit Ray. He was able to get up and ride his bike home, but the accident caused damage to his neck that required surgery.

Over the past two years Ray has become still and has seen something in the mirror that he desperately wants changed. This was his condition when he called me and left his “blast from the past” message.

The next day we got together and he told me that he was in a bookstore purchasing a New Testament when the thought came to him to call me. My friend, Ray, is in a spiritual condition that I believe is cause for celebration. For he was lost in himself and now his eyes are open and He hungers to be fed at His Father’s table.

What happened to Ray is not that unusual. The circumstances may be different and our venture into the self-life may not be as blatant as Ray’s, but like the prodigal son, we often choose to leave our Father’s house so we can enjoy our inheritance now.
Ray’s story seems clear from the vantage point of this article. It is ironic how the blessings of God upon a person’s life can become a catalyst for self-indulgence. Perhaps this is why many are called, but few are chosen.

God had blessed us with spiritual and sometimes earthly blessings. Instead of using these gifts to serve the Creator they are used to worship the creation. I am convinced that in our spiritual development we all go through a certain degree of this sort of thing. We have been endowed with gifts of the Spirit, and natural abilities, yet in our spiritual immaturity we often squander our inheritance, giving ourselves over to a sense of self-importance and self-righteousness.

It is easy to spot this in those who are in high profile positions and require private jets to reach their speaking engagements. I have a word for these ministries: “Go and sell all that you have and give it to the poor.”

For the rest of us it is not as easy to spot. I was called to ministry and traveled around country ministering in song and sharing the Word. It was great to be used by God!

I owned a specialty food manufacturing business at the time and I told the Lord if He would bless my business then I would be able to minister without financial concerns. It all made perfect sense to me, but God had other plans. The thought never occurred to me that God would call me into ministry and then allow the ministry to fail, but that is exactly what happened. There were things in me that He wanted to deal with that could not be exposed any other way! I was angry with God for almost eight years, for I believed He set me up for failure and that is exactly what He did! He wanted me to fail because He will not share His glory with another. There was mixture in my life that I could not see, but the Holy Spirit saw it clearly.

In the story of Abraham and Isaac there is a divine principle we must apply to our lives. Everything that God gives us must be offered back to Him! Only the Holy Spirit can orchestrate the necessary things in our lives to bring this about, but I tell you that if we are to go beyond Pentecost into the fullness of what God has called us to it will cost us everything!

Abraham was willing to obey God and sacrifice the son that God had promised Him. It was then that God provided another sacrifice. When we offer up to God the gifts and natural abilities that He has given us then He will provide a sacrifice, the sacrifice of self! Then when we utter the words of Paul, “I no longer live, but it is Christ who lives in me,” it will really mean something.

My ministry started on a stage with colored lights and fog machines. Now it is to one person here and another person there. All the pomp and circumstance has been reduced to ashes. The stink of the flesh has been replaced by a sweet fragrance of His Spirit permeating in my inner man.

We are all at different places on the wilderness trail. Some are just beginning their journey as they leave behind religious form. Others are being stripped in the whirlwind of God. You may think it is a midlife crisis and misfortune is at your door, but you will soon learn the hand of God is upon you. Some are rising from the dust as the gentle breath of the Holy Spirit breathes upon their dry bones and they are ready to enter into the rest of God.

Our heavenly Father is waiting for our return to Him after we are ready to be a servant in His house. It is then he will place His authority in us (ring upon the finger) and we will be covered in His righteousness. For we will wander no more seeking our fill, but will eat at the Father’s table.

Douglas B. Clark
info@theinwardjourney.net